It’s Not About Willpower: The Hidden Roots of Disordered Eating - If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I just get it together?” — this is for you.

“If I just had more willpower…”

It’s one of the most common things I hear from clients struggling with food and body image.
But here’s the truth:
Disordered eating is not a willpower problem. It’s a protective strategy. And it usually runs much deeper than most people realize.

The Cycle of Control, Shame, and Exhaustion

Maybe you wake up each morning already thinking about food—what you shouldn’t eat, what you have to do to “make up” for yesterday, how you’ll get through the day without slipping.
Maybe you meticulously control your food all day… only to find yourself bingeing at night.
Or you swing between days of “being good” and days where it all unravels—and you’re left feeling like a failure.

This isn’t about weakness. It’s a survival system.
Often rooted in trauma, perfectionism, and impossible cultural standards around thinness and worth, disordered eating can become a way of coping with pain or trying to gain control in a world that feels unpredictable.

Trauma and the Need to Be “Enough”

Many people I work with have a long history of being the achiever, the responsible one, the caretaker.
Food becomes a way to self-soothe, to feel in control, or to try and attain a version of “perfection” that feels just out of reach.

But underneath that control is often a younger part of you—one that never felt safe, seen, or accepted.
In therapy, we gently unearth these experiences—not to rehash the past, but to bring compassion and healing to the parts of you still carrying those burdens.

Why Traditional Dieting Doesn’t Work (and Actually Makes It Worse)

When someone’s relationship with food is tangled up in self-worth, trauma, or unprocessed emotion, diets only scratch the surface.
They promise quick fixes but often deepen the shame cycle.

Therapy is about moving beneath the surface.
With modalities like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IFS (Internal Family Systems), we don’t just treat the behaviors—we help you heal the emotional roots driving them.

What Healing Can Look Like

Imagine waking up and not immediately stressing about food.
Imagine enjoying a meal without guilt, or moving your body because it feels good—not to punish yourself.
Imagine reclaiming the brain space currently occupied by calorie counts and body-checking—and using it for something that truly nourishes you.

Healing doesn’t mean you never think about food again.
It means food takes its rightful place in your life—no longer front and center.

What to Expect in Therapy

When we work together, we start by mapping your relationship with food and body image: what it looks like now, where it started, and what life might look like without it running the show.
We connect the dots between your eating patterns and painful life experiences—often ones you’ve never linked to food before.

Then, using IFS and EMDR, we work to unburden those younger, protective parts of you… so they don’t have to carry the pressure anymore.
Together, we create new, sustainable patterns rooted in freedom—not fear.

You Are Not Broken. And You’re Not Alone.

If you’re caught in the exhausting cycle of disordered eating, please know:
You don’t have to “just try harder.”
You don’t have to keep battling your body.
You don’t have to carry this alone.

There is a path to peace—and it doesn’t involve another diet.

Ready to Start?

If you're in Indiana and looking for a trauma-informed therapist who gets the nuances of disordered eating, I'd love to connect.
I offer both in-person and virtual sessions, using a compassionate, root-level approach to help you reclaim your relationship with food and yourself.

Contact Me to learn more or schedule a free consult.
Let’s help you get back to you.