How to Stop Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, and Procrastination: An IFS-Informed, Faith-Based Guide for Busy Professionals
If you’re a high-achieving helper who can’t seem to turn it off—always doing, fixing, or proving—you’re not broken. You’re protective.
In IFS (Internal Family Systems), those cycles of perfectionism, people-pleasing, and procrastination are known as Firefighters—parts of you that rush in to numb pain or control discomfort. They mean well, but over time, they keep you tired, anxious, and disconnected from your calm, Spirit-led Self.
In The Best of You podcast, author and therapist Ian Morgan Cron said, “I can’t help but wake up and trip over one of my many addictions.” I love that honesty. It normalizes the truth that we all have addictive patterns—not just with substances, but with work, control, or approval.
Addiction, as Cron defines it, is any compulsive behavior that alters our mood and disrupts our lives. Sound familiar?
The Hidden Addictions of High-Functioning People
Many busy professionals and caregivers are addicted to being needed, productive, or perfect. Those patterns often come from young parts of us that learned early: “If I perform, I’m safe. If I please, I’m loved.”
These behaviors protected us once—but now they block rest, joy, and connection.
My “Golden Retriever” Part
I have a part I lovingly call my golden retriever part—the one that lights up when someone notices or praises me. It’s loyal, eager to help, and thrives on “Good girl, Emily.” It learned early that helping earned belonging. But left in charge, it overcommits, neglects my needs, and burns me out.
When I slow down, thank this part for its good intentions, and let my Self (and God) lead, I feel grounded again.
A Simple, Faith-Friendly Reset for Busy, All-or-Nothing Thinkers
Name the Firefighter.
“A perfectionist/people-pleaser/procrastinator part is here.” Naming builds awareness without shame.Pause and Invite God In.
Whisper: “God, help me find in You what I’m looking for in productivity, praise, or control.”Choose Progress, Not Perfection.
Healing isn’t about eliminating these parts—it’s learning to lead them with compassion and grace.
You are not what happened to you, and you’re not your coping patterns.
You are the calm, creative, Spirit-led Self beneath them—capable of change and consistency without the burnout.
If you’re tired of all-or-nothing living, start with one small, kind pause today.
That’s how busy perfectionists, people-pleasers, and procrastinators finally become aligned, unstoppable, and free.
Source
The Best of You Podcast with Alison Cook, Episode 139: Ian Morgan Cron on the 12 Steps and IFS
👉 https://www.dralisoncook.com/podcast/ian-morgan-cron-12-steps-ifs
